thinayr college for the legaly bored

It is with great pride that now offers an online, 2-year bachelors of sciencology degree to qualified applicants interested in the cutting edge research conducted by and it’s colleagues. Apply now for the summer sections, beginning June 12th.

Available courses include:
NTB100: Basic Principles of Nural-Tectonism
Instructor: Dr. Grundle Radtits Ph.D
Cr. 3 Fee: 1.618. BYOB (required).
This introductory course focuses on the essential elements of the cutting edge field of Nural-Tectonics, exploring everything from simple brain-tremors, to catastrophic soul-quakes, with attention to the methods of detecting, measuring, and inducing terminal mind-faults. Students will experience first hand what it’s like to be completely quaked out, and will spend many nights cursing in puddles of fluids indoors and out. Dr. Radtits is an expert in Neural Tectonics, and helped the governments of S. Korea and New Iran develop their famed NeuralTecto-Satelites for research and warfare applications, providing students with great possibilities for overseas unpaid internships. This course fulfills the requirements for the Substance-Induced Physics portion of the major.

PE350: SportMugging For Wellness
Instructor: Hobotkey Bindlestiffson
Cr. 1.5 Fee: $30 (Covers pinsol, shank, and jogging suit. Good shoes recommended)
As part of the physical ed. requirement, SportMugging For Wellness is a hands-on workshop teaching you how to live a healthy, active lifestyle by mugging people for sport. The class begins with an introduction to the shive sciences, including the subtleties and artfulness of a modern, detrimental shanking. Pinesol and Listerine are dispensed in dixy cups, helping students to find their center and loose inhibitions. Every student will work on a comprehensive log book documenting their successful, and unsuccessful efforts as they build boldness and take on more challenging victims, such as high-profile political targets and armed law enforcement personnel.

PF620: Advanced Particle Physics for non-Scientists
Instructor: Bobby-Lee Jimmy Jr.
Cr. 3 Fees: $125 (Covers sand and electricity costs. Outside sand is not permitted)
This course delves into the mysterious and sometimes deadly field of particle physics. Unlike other “Particle Physicists” who mistakenly believe nature to be comprised of atomic and subatomic “particles” we focus entirely on the only particles we can see and thus believe in: sand. We will shake sand, throw sand, kick sand and for the final, use electricity and magnets to turn sand into monsters capable of mass devastation. Goggles are recommended. Class not open to those interested in “evil” particle physics.


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