Thinayr Classifieds (I)

As a public service, and as a way to put a few greenbacks in me paw-eh, I have opened up this section of the website to public classifieds, want-ads and the likes. If you have a classified to post, post it as a comment and it will appear on the site.

Here are the first round:
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!!!!!!FOR SALE!!!!!!
’73 CHVY IMPLA XL. 115K, pwr drs, pwr wndws, wht pwr. Gd cndtn! Usd 4 drg dls, kdnppngs, drv-bys, mltpl rps. Mrdrd hkrs in trnk. Nl-mrks on sts. Bld stns. Bd smll. $400 (OBO). GR8 DL!
Call: Tronny (231) 345-2232
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Help Wanted:
Bak-OFF Protection Inc. is seeking individuals willing to sample personal protection products. $7/hr + snacks. Dog lovers preferred. Products to be tested include: Chemical Chili-Blast™, Diarrhea On-Demand™, Flesh-Eating Jelly-Nades™, The Crotch-o-dile™, Scrote-Stomper PLUS™, AIDS™. Medical bills are not covered. People without families are preferred. No clergy. Contact Bak-OFF Protection Inc. (800) UBAK-OFF ex. 187
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Free to good home:
Unwanted ghost. Was fun, is now depressed. Needs cheering up and souls. Clowns/magicians with souls are preferred. Serious inquiries only. Contact Strembethany (970) 422-1001
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FOR SALE:
Large, slightly abused pony. Answers to “Princess Plinkercups.” Hates children, other animals, sunlight, the elderly, elderly animals embodying pure light. Violent mood-swings are easily controlled with “sugar cubes” (crystal meth). Good on plow when cranked out. Good companion. Talkative. Will make excellent glue. Call Hershal Buttersweat (303) 899-9821.
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more as they come!

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